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This Ruined Puzzle

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Anti-Trust (poem) [Dec. 23rd, 2003|02:46 am]
This Ruined Puzzle

You tell me to trust
To trust in you
But that's one of the hardest things to do
How can I?
When everything I thought I knew turned out to be a lie.
They kept me in the dark, but it was brighter than they knew.
So when no one tells the truth, how can I trust you?
Show me a away
A way to believe
I promise you nothing, I'll give it my all
But just promise you'll catch me, when I, inevitabley, fall.
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Home (rant) [Dec. 23rd, 2003|02:39 am]
This Ruined Puzzle

2003-12-23 14:39:00; Home(rant)
Such a simple word
But people take it for granted
People say "Home is where the heart is."
I believe this to be true.
I guess this means I have no home.
Then again, a zen saying states that if you have no have no place to call home, where ever you go, you're headed towards it.
This is why I never regret things.
For oneday, I'll find my home
and this long, melodramatic trip
will have been worth it all.
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Seven Steps To Life (poem) [Feb. 22nd, 2004|09:13 am]
This Ruined Puzzle

Once bitten
Twice shy
Third's the charm
Four's a lie
Five's a hoax
Six's done
Seven's a joke
Then back to one
Start this dance
Spin till you die
Try again
Wondering why
Keep in step
Keep the tune
Keep your head
Try not to swoon
Love and Live
Learn and Try
Take and give
Laugh and cry
Round and round
Till you fall
Up and down
Give it your all
Win or lose
You play the game
Pick or choose
It's all the same
So show yourself off
Extend the real you
Let them scoff
At least you stayed true
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Twisted Strife [Feb. 8th, 2004|06:50 am]
This Ruined Puzzle

The edge is calling
And I'm quickly falling
Into the past that I'd rather forget
But I won't regret
The thing's I've lost
At the highest cost
To the edge that is calling me now

So I scream
And I cry
And I live
While I die
And I want to get back to me

But I've lost the "I" that I once knew before
And I don't know the me that I want to be more
The "I" that I am
Or the "I" that I was
or the "i" I was trying to be
But I don't know if any are the real me

Is this making sense?
Are you getting the clue?
I've lost myself and don't know what to do

I've climbed this mountain
I've tumbeled and fell
Landing at the bottom of my personal hell

Do I want to go back to that place again?
Returning to that self-supposed sin

The edge of a razer
The end of a knife
Anthing to begin the end of my life

And the ones who care
Are the ones I scare
With the blood that drips from my wrists

So I don't let them know
Cause I know that they'll go
And I don't need the pity I know that they'll show

So I run
And I hide
And I scream
And I lie
And I just want to find

A place to be me
A place to be free
Where I can finally breathe

I'm suffocating
In this self-contained shell
In this provoking hell
And I'll never tell
Cause don't know why I hurt

I hold off on my urges
And ignore the surges
So I won't have to explain
What you'll never understand
But what you still demand
To know

The feelings I show
Are the ones that I know
And the ones that I don't
Are the ones that I hide
And are the ones that kill me inside

So though I slowly I die
You won't see me cry
Cause my eyes have run dry
From the tears that I shed
On the floor by my bed
As I was breaking down

Pleasr forgive me this crime
Of wasting your time
With my words that you'll soon forget

Maybe you'll remember me later on
When you see my picture and name
On the same
News you see everyday

Another stastical teenage waste
With cuts down my arm and blood on my face

And maybe then you'll remember these words that I've wrote
And maybe your stomach will rise to the top of your throat
As you wonder if you could have said

Something to quiet the screams in my head
Some way you could have changed my mind

But don't worry
Don't fret

I'm sure you'll find
A way to forget

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Goodbye Love (poem) [Feb. 8th, 2004|10:50 am]
This Ruined Puzzle

A lonely silence fills the air
Between two broken hearts
Lean into me
Tell me it will be ok
That today is just another day
Just don't say
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(WIP) Poem [Jan. 28th, 2003|11:28 am]
This Ruined Puzzle

Let me go
Let me see
What you forgot to show
Let me bleed
Just for you
Let me see
The real you
Forget all of your lies
Something real
Something true
It doesn't matter
I just need something real
More than just this lie
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Away In The Night (poem) [Dec. 26th, 2003|08:13 am]
This Ruined Puzzle

Sometimes in the night
I can still feel your breath
Why is your memory so haunting
You keep me so near
I'm trying to run
But you won't let me go
Let me free
Let me fly
Away from this memory that holds me
Away from the pain
Away from the love
Away from you
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At All (song) [Feb. 25th, 2004|10:47 am]
This Ruined Puzzle

You only want what you can't have
Why can't you make up your mind
When I finally let you in, you turned away
You didn't even watch me fall
But it doesn't matter
It never mattered at all
We play this game of mouse and cat
No one ever wins
You get me close, then you throw me away
Yet I still answer when you call
Because it doesn't matter
It never mattered at all
What you don't see is that I've changed
I made it thru somehow
Though I still can't look at our past
For fear of longing again
A least now I'm standing tall
Because it doesn't matter
It never mattered at all
But the love that was there
And the love you now show
Still makes my heart swell
The rejection still stings
And your words can cut deep
My cries still echo in the hall
But it doesn't matter
It never mattered at all
No, it doesn't matter
I never mattered
To you, I never mattered at all
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An Intro [Oct. 11th, 2003|10:52 am]
This Ruined Puzzle

Ok, re-doing this journal.
This will be for my random crap
My poetry, songs, rantings w/ a meaning,
and prob. random quotes, lyrics and quuizes
My actual journal is randomimplosion
It's friends only though
If you want me to add you to it just leave a comment there and add me
I'll more than likely add you back
I'm not sure if I want to make this journal friends only or not
I prob. will
We shall see.
I'm going to try to make each thing
(poem, lyric, rant, what-note, etc)
as a seperate post
First I shall have random shite that I have on paper transferred to here
Heh, let's see how long THAT will last
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